"Not so much an MTFOB as an example of possible retaliation."
Aww, is the tumblr harpy upset she has to experience the fear men face in public daily?
Across the board, men are much much more likely to be victims of violent crime, assault, and robbery at the hand of strangers than women. Ever consider that perhaps the reason why men take up more space in public is to try and seem larger and more intimidating to likely attackers?
Sorry you’ve been microagressed by a victims nut sack though, you must have been literally shacking.
Who exactly do you think is perpetrating this violence? Oh, right, other men.
You must be literally 12 years old - learn to spell.
I’ve followed your blog for a little while now. I never thought I’d email in but I thought you might appreciate some positivity among all the hate mail you (really unfairly) receive.
You’re wicked. It’s so great to see other people having the guts to stand up and say ‘this isn’t okay’. It’s hard to be a lone voice in a crowd, you start to wonder if you’re the one with the problem. By pointing out how widespread and universally annoying this is, you’re standing up for all the millions of us who travel on public transport everyday.
I wanted to link you to a sex attack on a woman on the underground in London recently, (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/womens-life/10634125/Sex-attack-on-Tube-Why-I-grabbed-the-man-who-sexually-assaulted-me-on-the-train.html) but as I googled it I actually had to refine my search to find the sex attack I remembered because there have been so many similar ones that this one didn’t even top google’s search results!! So when men have the audacity to write and say this isn’t an issue that’s important to feminism, blah blah blah, it’s so clearly part of a wider culture that’s genuinely threatening to women.
I have a story that isn’t so extreme as the above, but a few weeks ago I was travelling home from London, about midday. The train was practically empty as I got on, so I sat in a corner by the window, with three empty seats around me and another four empty seats to my right. Just before the train was due to leave a group of 7 guys got on and took up all these seats. There were other configurations they could have sat in on the carriage, but (and admittedly I speculate) they didn’t want to be too close to anyone else there - all men. As it transpired they were on their way to a football match, and lived up to the stereotype, loud, laddy, and drinking beer. I wanted to get up and move, but I was literally trapped in, squished against the wall. I could have asked them to move their legs or budge up enough for me to climb over, but that would have involved making a point about how I didn’t want to sit with them, and I didn’t want to give them ammo to comment on it. And this bit isn’t speculation - I know, and you know, there was a 90% probability that they’d have said something, at best ‘aw darling why don’t you want to sit with us’, at worst comments like ‘slag’. Sooo I pushed my legs as close into the side of the train as possible, to make room for my neighbours sprawling limbs, closed my eyes and pretended to sleep so as to avoid all accidental eye contact. At one point a bloke got up and left his beer on the floor while he went to the loo (I mean come on, there were 12 other hands in his group that could have held it for him, but he chose the floor), obviously it fell over, ruining my boots. He didn’t apologise, but the silver lining meant he didn’t try to start a conversation. Anyway, eyes closed again…until one of them said ‘hey, hey miss’. I reluctantly opened my eyes. He was like ‘oh were you falling asleep? it’s so annoying when you’re falling asleep and someone wakes you up’. I thought this was meant to be ironic, so I left a pause before I bluntly replied ‘yes’. He went on to say how he hadn’t seen me there the whole journey, was I tired because I’d been on a night out, where was I going, where do I live.
Now, if anyone’s like ‘well, how could you know that they’d have slung insults at you’ or ‘you should have just moved, suck it up’ kind of thing, they should know that every time something like this happens, the woman does a mental assessment of the situation. Potential hassle vs reward. ‘Would you mind moving your legs’ might give you an extra inch, but it also might be taken as an invite for them to start talking to you. And when that guy did start talking to me, he asked my name, my age, where I live - all stuff that I don’t want to share with strangers! I assessed that my moving could have been considered as aggressive, even though they were actually in the wrong. And even though I’m still annoyed over how these men behaved, I think I made the right call to stay sat there, squished and wearing sodden footwear - because it turned out they all got off at my stop and we had to walk in the same direction. Better to be meek, boring, and of no interest, than give them any ammunition to harass me as I basically walked them past my home.
These microaggressions can turn into macroaggressions before you’ve had time to check if that’s two gs or just one, and when people commit the former, how can you possibly know they won’t commit the latter for calling them up on it? The only info you have to hand at that moment is:
1) they have no respect for your personal space
2) they could take you in a fight
3) past experience of similar situations.
I’ve been typing long enough to realise I’m preaching to the choir, so I’d just like to reiterate my thanks for sticking with what you do, despite all the hate mail. Without your blog I think I’d still be unsure whether it was just me, or something I should just get over. Thank you! :)
I didn’t get a chance to take a photo of this guy (he would have noticed and I’m positive he would have at least broken my phone), but yesterday on my way home from work I ran into the most ridiculous seat-taking I have ever seen any man do. It was on the 5pm bus, so there were a lot of regular working folks heading home so this guy had absolutely no excuse, and even if the place was empty he still had no excuse! He was sitting at the back of the bus (you know, the 4 seats back there, with two more on each side in front of the row facing each other), feet propped up on the medal bars back there, LITERALLY DOING THE FUCKING SPLITS! I gave him the most bewildering look I could muster, and I hope he got the point across. He eventually moved when he saw some guys get on a stop later, but I had to stand until some seats cleared out. SERIOUSLY! I’ve seen some ridiculous man-spread in my time, but that took the fucking cake!
I always think of you guys when I see something like this now
Fed-up story of a woman who got masturbated at on a bus:
“Well, johnquig, I think ‘well-written’ is a little generous. That’s why you got a gif for a response. “
johnquig, johnquig, johnquig. I dont think you know who you’re messing with. These big, brave, beautiful women of color have been courageously posting pictures of strangers on the internet for years.
In fact, between the two of them, they have over 12 years of eduction and in a mere half a decade, they will be able to profit from their years of schooling.
In short: better luck next you literal human slime fuck garbage person.
I know you think you’re making some brilliant and hard hitting satire, but you’re not. Your time would be better spent learning to suck your own dick or something, because G-d knows no one else is going to want to
This blog is great and the amount of hate you deal with is so not ok so here have some cute bunnies and rays of sunshine
Not so much an MTFOB as an example of possible retaliation.
"No" and "stop" don’t always mean "no" and "stop" to men. He followed her, pushed her, threatened to pepper-spray her, even in front of a group of people, just because she got up to move and told him to stop touching her.
what’s the worst that could happen if you politely ask someone to move/to stop, people always seem to come to this ask box to say.